Building a stronger relationship this Valentines

09 Feb, 2017

“About 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged each year. This makes it the second largest seasonal card sending time of the year (after Christmas).” McCrindle Social Researchers1


Each year on February 14 many of us will celebrate romance by giving cards or gifts to our special loved one.

While there is nothing wrong with commercial gifts of love, for some people this is very important, others may prefer to receive love in different ways. On Valentine’s Day, remember the remaining four Love Languages and try honouring your partner with love in the ways they find meaningful.

Words of Affection - have you noticed  your partner re-reading or treasuring cards or letters that have been given to them?  If so, their favourite love language may be Words of Affection.  If this is your partner, don’t forget to choose that romantic card, pop a note in their lunch bag or surprise them in other ways with your ‘words’ of love.

Quality Time – drop the chores, put aside that pressing activity and spend time just with your partner. If you partner is always complaining that you don’t spend enough time with them, then this can be a real winner!  As an added bonus, choose something you can do together that they particularly love.

Physical Touch - we all need physical touch in our lives but for some people, it is really important. If your partner is usually the first to ask for a hug, likes to sit close, reaches out to hold hands and is often touching you, then this is likely to be their love language.  Make sure you do the initiating of physical touch on Valentine’s Day.  It’s sure to make your partner feel loved-up.

Acts of Service – does your partner really love it when you do things for them? Iron their shirt, wash their car or do a similar chore that relieve their burden?  Or have they been asking you for ages to fix or clean something which you’ve never gotten around to doing?  You may not have ever thought it means much, but it may be very important to your partner.  Acts of Service can often be interpreted as acts of love.

If you’re unsure what your partner’s favourite love language is, why not do them all and watch their response? According to the author of The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman, most of us have one or two that really makes our heart sing.  What better time is there to show love in our partner’s favourite language than Valentine’s Day?

Relationship educator Sue Aspin said building a friendship with your partner is also an important step to ensuring your relationship lasts.

“Friendship is the foundation of a good love relationship. Knowing your partner’s preferences and dislikes well, and being curious about their current views and what is going on in their mind helps build friendship," she said.

"Having some shared interests, striving together towards shared dreams and simply having enough time to enjoy each other’s company will help keep your friendship strong."

Valentine’s Day brings relationships into focus and it can be a timely trigger to examine or improve your own. Remember that it is important to acknowledge and celebrate your partner every day of the year, and not just on Valentine’s Day.

“It can be a good reminder that relationships need to be maintained, nurtured and valued every day – but don’t just rely on one day’s symbolic exchange,” Ms Aspin said.

We offer a range of relationship programs at locations across Perth & WA. To learn more about these courses visit our education page here.

To learn more about the Five Love Languages please click here.

1. McCrindle Social Researchers: http://mccrindle.com.au/the-mccrindle-blog/happy-valentine-s-day-from-mccrindle

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